Sometimes, Brad Fischetti wakes up and it doesn't feel real that the group known as LFO is just... him.

"To imagine, these two extraordinary guys are gone," he reflected in an exclusive interview with E! News' Francesca Amiker. "It doesn't make any sense to me."

Rich Cronin, who wrote LFO's infectiously catchy 1999 hit "Summer Girls," died in 2010 at the age of 36 after a long battle with leukemia. Devin Lima, who remained Fischetti's best friend, died in 2018, barely 13 months after being diagnosed with adrenal cancer.

Both losses hit Fischetti hard, but Lima's passing admittedly put him in a dark place that took a lot of work to get out of.

"It was like somebody pulled a hood over my eyes," the 47-year-old recalled. "I have six kids now, but I had five kids at the time, and I just could not find joy anywhere. So my wife said, 'You've got to do something.' I think a lot of us are not really vulnerable enough to admit when we need help, especially men."

Fischetti credits his family, therapy, his faith and a concerted effort to take care of himself, mentally ("downtime is important") and physically (not always easy, 7-11 is his kryptonite), with his eventual climb out of the darkness.

"I got through that," he said, "but I don't think I could have done it on my own. And if my story helps other folks to realize, 'Hey, you know what, sometimes I have to be vulnerable enough to say I need help,' then I guess what I'm doing is important. But it's really a crazy story. And almost every day I'm shaking my head, like, What's going on here? There's times where I'm on stage, like, What on earth is happening right now? But I'm so thankful to the fans for their support, it's been mind-blowing."

These days Fischetti is keeping the LFO flame alive on tour with fellow 00's-era sensation O-Town and in his own "The LFO Story" shows, which originated as a livestream but now can be caught in person with a full band behind him.

Telling their story from the beginning (literally, starting in 1974, the year Cronin was born) is Fischetti trying "to bring some light into the darkness. I believe through great struggle comes great grace, and I'm trying to do my best to find some grace in it all."

Meanwhile, touring as LFO, "my mission is pretty simple," he explained. "Honor Rich, honor Devin, nurture their legacy. An added bonus is to bring those fans back to a simpler time, kind of an escape from the craziness of the world, craziness of life. When our fans were first getting to know us, most of them were in middle school or high school or college. And it was before jobs, before divorces, before kids, before money issues. So, we're happy to be out there, helping them to relive some fond memories—and to make some new ones."

Talking to E! over Zoom on April 18, he recalled a new memory from a show he'd just played over the weekend: A mom with her young daughter in the front row, "and the 8-year-old was singing every single word. And next to her were two 12-year-olds, and they were reaching out like the fans did back in the day. One of the guys from O-Town touched her hand and they're like, 'Ahhhh!'"

He saw them in the merchandise line afterward, he continued, and it turned out there were two cousins who "brought their kids up on LFO, and they were just totally enamored and star-struck. It warmed my heart so much."

And yet, Fischetti said, "I sometimes feel guilty when people give me so much love and apologies for what I've lost. I try to explain, 'Well, we've all lost [someone],' but I can take the attention that comes from it and try to bring some light into how you heal from these kinds of things."

After hits including "Summer Girls" and "Girl on TV," LFO broke up in 2002, Fischetti previously describing it as a relief, "like a weight was lifted off of our shoulders."

Which isn't to say they didn't pack a lot of amazing memories into the handful of years that made up their initial run, such as when the band basically took over a Waffle House during a 2000 tour stop in the South. "Like, we were cooking," Fischetti recalled. "We were taking orders, our keyboard player and [manager] Mike Caputo were flipping eggs. I was serving tables. That was one of the funnest experiences we ever had on tour."

Cronin was working on a solo album when he was first diagnosed with acute myelogenous leukemia in 2005. Though he went into remission and underwent a stem cell transplant the following year, the cancer eventually came back and, when LFO reunited to tour in 2009, Fischetti recalled, "He was not healthy." They cleared out of the back of the tour bus so Cronin could spread out, he said, Fischetti remembering his ailing friend using a grabber tool (Cronin would "buy everything on that shelf that says 'As Seen on TV'") to help himself to candy and Mountain Dew. 

"We helped him get dressed and rock the show," Fischetti said. "We became closer than we ever had. And then a year later, he passed."

With Lima, who found out he had stage four cancer in October 2017, "I was with him for his first chemo treatment and his first surgery," Fischetti said. "That experience was..." He paused. "Most of all of us have gone through an experience where we're watching somebody we love pass away. So my experience is not that much different. What makes my experience interesting to some folks is the fact that I'm in LFO and two of those guys are gone."

Fischetti was also sitting down with E! less than three weeks after the March 29 death of LFO founding member Brian "Grizz" Gillis, who left before the trio as most fans knew them broke through with "Summer Girls," off their self-titled debut album. No cause has been released.

Paying tribute to Gillis on Instagram, Fischetti called the 47-year-old a "main character" from the "first two chapters of the LFO story." A story that Fischetti has called, on more than one occasion, a tragedy.

"You have to come to reality that there are certain things you will never get over," he said. "Losing those guys, I'll never get over it. Losing Devin, who was my best friend, I'll never, ever get over it. But you have to figure out how to get through it. And you also have to think about, Well, how would those guys want you to live?"

Fischetti had the highest praise for Cronin, calling him an "extraordinary" songwriter and lyricist, one of the "greatest rappers" ever and "the funniest guy on the planet."

Lima "had the most beautiful voice," Fischetti continued. He "was the guy who enjoyed life more than anybody I know. I am convinced that he saw colors we couldn't see."

And would Cronin, who loved performing, "want me to just sit around and sulk?" Fischetti noted. "Or would he want me to try to continue the legacy that they left behind?"

After Lima died, Fischetti did "put LFO away" at first, he said. "I dug a deep hole and left it there." But about a year later his agent called about appearing on the Pop 2000 tour.

"I never even though about doing something like that," Fischetti recalled, but, "I did it. And I didn't really know what the fans would think because they can very easily be like, 'Yo, what are you doing up there? Your boys are gone, just call it a day.' But instead they've been so gracious to me. They thank me. 'Thank you for doing this, thank you for keeping the legacy alive.' It's been a dream come true to see and extraordinarily humbling."

Every show is different, he shared, depending on the vibe he's getting from the fans that night. "It's always emotional," he said, noting that he either does a moment of silence or praise for Cronin and Lima. "A couple of nights ago, I did a moment of praise and thanksgiving," Fischetti said. "I have their shell-toe Adidas hanging from a mic stand and I held up the sneakers and the microphone, and the crowd just went crazy. I almost lost it. I had to really get myself together before I just broke down in tears. I turn that energy into almost like a battle mentality."

He is in tears, however, after some shows. And even after one where he thought he was fine, "I saw some fans who were in tears and then I just lost it."

When he gets offstage, either Caputo (who after 20 years still hits the road with him and retains his status as LFO's honorary fourth member) or drummer Floyd McCollum will check on him. "They're always kind of waiting," Fischetti said. "'Okay, where's he at? Is he gonna break down?'" They're figuring out, "Do I need a hug? They're all kinda looking at me, like, 'Okay?' 'Um, I think I'm okay."

Still, he continued, "a lot of fans remark, 'I don't know how you do that every single night.' And there's some nights where I go, 'Okay, that's enough. I had enough, I'm done, I'm retiring, it's just too much." But then he'll head over to the merch table and pose for selfies with fans, "and they fill me with these beautiful words of love and respect," he said. "And then I'm like, 'Okay, I can't stop.'"

Carrying on in Cronin and Lima's stead "is not something I sought to do," Fischetti emphasized. "It's an unfortunate honor. But as long as people continue to support my mission, then I'll continue to do it."

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